And You'll Be Alright
by WhenTheSunFinallyCameUp
Summary: Pearl's life is changing, Greg's rediscovering feelings, and Steven's dealing with what heartbreak entails. In the dead of winter, the three go on a hiking trip hoping to sort themselves out. Teen for some swearing.
1. Everything In Its Right Place

The sun was still below the ocean and outside the temple, a cold blanket of snow laid blue in the dim before dawn. The great stitched white sheets untouched, with small cold flakes drifting dreamily down to reinforce the frigid fabric. The cold crystals growing spare after the storm. It had rocked the temple when it was at its worst around midnight and howled high in the rafters above their heads, but the storm's worst was through and Beach City had survived the harmless terror. The snow must've been a foot deep. Pearl thought about all those perfect sheets, what awaited their magnificence in a few hours. Car tires turning them to slush, the open mouths of shovels scooping them up and spitting them out, making small unwanted snow mounds each wanting waiting to become things they'll never become. Like snowmen or forts. _Steven used to love making those._

Pearl was cradling her foot and cross-legged looking out the window at the grey horizon where the sun would rise in twelve or so minutes, glancing sometimes down at the blue blankets onshore, looking for some hint of something, or someone.

It was quiet this early in the morning and Pearl could only hear Steven's soft breathing while sleeping. She hadn't been really tempted to watch him in a long time so instead, she rested on the one seat in the house without a back or went to her room to keep herself busy, distracted from lingering thoughts of the deceased.

And Rose was hurting her heart at the moment but she didn't do that as often. These were mostly the dull stabs remaining and she was never left alone with those thoughts for too long. Steven was becoming a young man and it could be hectic.

Steven developed a crush on a girl that Pearl hadn't even got the name of yet. That made her nervous, what was her Steven doing? Steven didn't like girls. Well not like that, not yet, but she was now she was smiling as she stared at open fields the wind slowly swept, he was becoming a fuller person, a smart boy to an intelligent young man. Pearl was proud, it was scary to think what could come but the first light was showing its face, a golden ray over the water as the sun was coming up. Whitecaps on the sea with streaks of rich light stretching to shore and over it.

It was time to begin the day

Pearl rose with the sun and grabbed an old forgotten red and white scarf. Pearl recalled it was Connie's but every time the young lady would come to visit it would always escape Pearl to give it back to her, the charming fluffy thing. Connie didn't come by enough anymore. Pearl draped her maroon winter jacket over her shoulders and threaded her arms through, zipping up to her neck.

The screen door swept the snow top off the blanket as Pearl pushed it open. Leaning on the wall of the porch was two snow shovels with red rubber scoops. She could already feel the motion in her arm. She grabbed up the shovel and began to push the mouth down to the wood of the porch pushing forward to sweep it off the side of the house then moving on to shovel the stairs.

After pushing the pure white off the stairs easy she reached the sandy slope down to the beach, she plunged the shovel in but took more than she wanted, hurling sand and snow into the morning winter winds, it clapped back pushing sand into her nostrils and almost taking the gem off her feet. "Ahh…" She steadied herself and looked back at the snow menacingly, but letting it drop to a more pleasant smile.

She cleared the rest with speed but making sure the wind didn't punch her anymore. It was tough to get through the heavy blanket but she did it a few frigid feet at a time. It was tough but the light of the sun over the sea was growing every time she found a moment to look for it. She reached the beach before a slope, looking at the length of snow she still had to shovel to reach the cliff stairs. She grimaced but knew she had to shovel.

So she did and she was standing at the top of the stairs, in the parking lot before the road. She looked over, Steven's cozy little red hatchback rested in its spot, she had got as much as she could. Greg helped him pick it out online it was from someone a town or two over. Steven had paid for half and Greg helped him with the other half. Pearl had enough to buy the car two times over with the green in her gem but Steven wanted to earn it for himself. Even if his curls nearly touched the roof if he tried to sit up straight, it was his beautiful little thing. Pearl exhaled and could see her breath in the air, small white cloud wisping to nothing, it was cold, negative, but the exertion and how closed in her jacket was and how hot made her headache and there was something off. During the night the gem's trash barrel had rolled down a slope next to the parking lot, a tough little incline. Amethyst always took pleasure in a quick trip as a helicopter over to the barrel to drop off garbage if for nothing but to pick through the trash after she delivered it. Pearl went down and pushed it back. It wasn't hard, it was only half-filled anyway. Then Pearl was back at the top of the hill once more.

She was sweating beneath the jacket and needed to shed Connie's scarf but she was cutting it close, so she panted and sweat her way back to the temple. She stepped in, tossed her coat off and onto the couch, and unraveled the scarf from her neck, draping it on a little helpful arm of their coat rack. She tried to still her breath. Steven was still snoring softly above and she didn't want to be loud.

The gem popped open the fridge for some milk, cheese, and also to slide a loaf of bread off the top. Picking out a slice and popping it into the toaster in a single motion. Pearl turned on a burner and leaned the white and red carton over a cup, filling it halfway with milk. Then she stopped and tapped her foot a few times. When Steven was younger she would always make him as much as he could eat with the time they had, but now he wouldn't touch any more than a few pieces of bacon for breakfast or toast. He stayed awake later now, up into the night chatting away with friends, playing games, practicing guitar. The few times they let Steven when he was younger he'd stay up a little extra and pass out by 10. To wake up for a big breakfast.

The toast popped and Pearl caught, placing it on top of the paper towel and applying only a bit of butter as he requested. He didn't want to be 'the chubby kid' no matter how many times Pearl told him he was a healthy enough human. She could never understand. She put the buttered toast on the counter next to the milk and gently stepped up the stairs to Steven's bedroll. He still insisted on the thing. Greg offered to get his son a bed but of course Steven held onto his decision while being sorry about doing so. Maybe he did really prefer the old thing. She sat a few steps from the top, on the same level as him. She watched him only a moment, his hair was a mess. She smiled and gently rocked him. "Steven."

He turned over. "Hmm?"

"It's time to wake up. You have school in an hour."

"Five more minutes, Pearl." He waved his hand above the bed half submerged in sleep.

"I'll hold you to that." Pearl snickered softly and stepped down the stairs. Walking towards the butter container on the counter, but something shook in the pocket of her jeans. She fished her phone out and placed the butter on the counter. She tapped the screen and heard Amethyst grumble and leaving her room.

"This is Pearl."

Greg's voice came through the device. "Hey, Pearl, how are you doing this morning? That was a killer storm last night."

Pearl took more bread out and buttered it. "Oh, good morning, Greg. I still have to make Steven his lunch. Plus go shopping after he leaves." She got a black metal pan out and put it on the red hot burner.

"Oh I can swing by in a bit to help, maybe go shopping if you'd like? I gotta pick up stuff for myself anyway."

She gave a nervous fake chuckle, but she did have a lot to do... "Oh, that's alright, Greg, I got it under control." Pearl wedged the phone between her shoulder and her ear, tossing the buttered bread on the pan and sliding cheese between the pieces.

"Are ya sure? It's no bother ya know, I'm just gonna bumming around the car wash all day. I'd be happy to come over and help you."

"Really, Greg, I've got it in hand." She put the bread back on the fridge and the cheese and milk in it. "Are you-" The phone nearly slipped away. "Are you still up for a movie with us tonight?"

"You bet! I'll be there at five sharp."

"Good, see you then." She hit the end button and exhaled, burying the cold plastic thing back in her jean pocket.

"Hey, P, I'm heading out." Amethyst was standing behind her and pointing her thumb towards the window.

"Are you serious? In this weather?"

"Looks clear to me." She walked over to the portal and rested her short purple arms on the sill and looking outside at the finally fully bright sky, the white snow surface pushing the light brighter into the temple.

"Well, alright." Pearl went over to a hamper and plucked clothes from it to toss in the laundry machine. "What do you have planned?"

"To help get rid of some of Vidalia's junk laying around her garage."

Pearl stopped with one of Steven's star shirts in hand and threw eyes at Amethyst. "You're not going to bring any of it back here are you?"

Amethyst shrunk under her gaze but relaxed as if it was nothing. "Of course not, P, I got enough junk, fill to the tippity top. It's too cold to haul back anyway." She said that but looked at the ceiling as if actually thinking about the logistics of hauling tons of junk in below zero temperatures.

"When do you think you'll be back?"

"Idunno." Amethyst got a dark purple hat out of the rubber bin beside the temple's door and pulled it over the top of her light purple mane, top of her head snug in the fabric. "But I'll be back for the movie, alright?"

Pearl tossed some bright blue detergent in and pushed the washer's door closed."Don't be gone too long, we need to go grocery shopping and I know you'll complain if we don't get what you want."

"I'll be back, I promise" Amethyst put on her jacket and pushed open the two doors out, before pushing it closed with a dull thud that moved through the walls.

The butter on the toast was well melted by now. The milk waiting in its cup. Steven hadn't stirred and Pearl watched him a minute as he was peacefully sleep- She wasn't supposed to do that. Pearl spoke gently up to him. "Steven?"

"I'm getting up, I'm getting up." Steven mumbled as he brought his head of curls up from the pillow, eyes half-closed and bleary.

Pearl put on a small smile and went back to the washer.

Steven stood on the roll and then stepped down the stairs shuffling to the counter where the milk and toast lay. He took a few bites of the toast but put it down, concentrating trying to remember something. Steven's face dropped, and he turned around and rushed over to a small cubby in the wall, got a pair of pants and a shirt out before running into the temple's bathroom.

Pearl watched it happen and put a hand under her chin. She spoke softly through the door. "Are you alright, Steven?"

"I'm fine." The door opened and Steven stepped out in the jeans but was just now getting the shirt down. He ran and grabbed up his school bag, and a coat.

"What about your breakfast?"

"Sorry." He grabbed something outside of his bag. A red card he stuffed into his backpack's front pocket as quick as he could, before throwing a strap over his shoulder, before giving Pearl one last look. "See you later, okay?"

Pearl smirked. "Of course." Steven's blushed but he shook his head and left. The door almost closing with his departure but it was not quite shut. Pearl stepped up and gave it a slight push for the last few inches.

She breathed out all her tension and let herself fall back on the backless seat. Toothpick thin limbs falling down the side. She closed her eyes and sunk into the fabric. Reinforcing it with hardlight. Smelling the butter on the toast Steven hadn't eaten. Thinking about the girl he had a crush on, about the long day ahead, that he's coming home in a bit over 7 hours. That his father coming over to view something Steven would pick out. Greg asking questions while they were watching which Steven would continually tell him not to do, while Steven would explain things anyway that didn't really need much explaining and pop popcorn into his mouth, share with Connie, and then he'd make Pearl have a piece, and she'd have one. Pearl smiled.

Pearl thought she'd be sweaty now but it was chilly in the temple, a cold draft wafting from the glass. She hoped Steven didn't wake up in this cold. She had taken care of enough sick Stevens to last her a lifetime, but… maybe one more wouldn't hurt… For old time's sake. She chuckled to nobody and put pressed palms into her tired eyes. The refrigerator was breathing softly as she laid there.

Pearl's next order of business was…

was?

All the things she had to do for the day seemed to be fleeing from her, tucking themselves slowly away in their hiding places. Only a gentle hand on her back seemed to get her attention, but even that was fleeting, the fabric hand was soothing her gently to something, with subtle circuitous motions. Lulling her to that thing humans and Amethyst did.

That's when she knew she had to sit up, her eyes still closed and heavy, but Pearl was at least vertical. She opened her eyes. Her heart jumped. More shadow, she was in more shadow than she had been when she first sat down. Her white skin looked grey in the lowlight. She looked out the window, the bright morning had been obscured by white-grey clouds. The sky wasn't quite dark but it wasn't bright either. The flakes falling were growing a bit more fervent as well. She had let herself drift off.

Her eyes fall back down to the blankets. And she found a dot a bit far away. A red dot moving through the fields of snow onshore. They hadn't bothered to use the stairs. There was only one girl who did that. Connie was hauling herself towards the temple, pulling her shoes up from the snow just to spear them back in and then have to pull them back up again.

Pearl watched quietly as the Connie dot slowly grew larger. The young lady had been coming around the temple less and less, now she only came by for a movie occasionally. She missed her determined knight's company. She thought maybe Steven did too.

Connie was now such a large dot she'd be called a blot. Moving towards the path Pearl shoveled and then up the incline towards the temple. She had her backpack and a bright red coat, and a beanie on, but something felt missing. Pearl mean mugged the scarf draped on the coat rack, but stopped to go greet Connie. Pearl opened the doors, the wind outside shaking the screen one as she kept it open. Connie crested the final step. "Pearl!" She smiled and ran towards the door.

"Hey, Connie!" Pearl sheltered her eyes as the searing cold wind hit her cheeks. "Get inside, it's getting bad out there."

"Yes, ma'am!" Connie pushed past Pearl and brought in a trail of little flat clumps of snowy white. Pearl got the screen door closed and then the wooden one. Connie came to a stop and almost tipped off her boots but stopped herself. Then she looked around, and up towards Steven's bedroll. "Hey, Pearl, where's Steven?" Connie tugged down on her coat's zipper.

"He's not here, he went to school. Shouldn't you be there, Connie?"

"They canceled school. There's going to be a lot more snow, as you can tell." Connie looked back through the window at the looming clouds. "I just wanted to come over and see if, uh, Steven wanted to hang out maybe."

"I'm sure he would. I wish I knew, he just left. Let me-" Pearl dug for her phone again and unlocked it. She wasn't really sure how long she had been resting on the seat. She hit his name in her contacts.

Connie kept her hat on but untied her boots, shedding them, sitting on the couch below the window. Shivering as a draft from the window hit her neck.

It was still ringing in Pearl's ear. "C'mon, Steven." One of Pearl's fingers rested on the border to her mouth, she wanted to nibble on her nail but resisted.

"Hey, it's Steven! Leave your message after the beep and I'll get back to ya."

"You have the day off today. Give me a call back." Pearl hit the red button and put her phone back in her pocket. Connie rested back on the sofa. Cheeks red, she panted. "I could fix you some hot cocoa, Connie?"

"That'd be great." Connie smiled. She was getting older, she'd sprouted tall, now rising above Steven. Her grades as good as ever. Of the few times she still came over it was often to study. Steven was caught up with the other kids his age but a little extra help now and then didn't hurt. Sometimes though Pearl would catch her staring at Steven while he wasn't paying attention. On a movie night getting closer to his side. Draping her arm around his shoulder, but Steven was distant when she did that, took her arm away.

"Would you like some marshmallows?"

"Sure, thank you." Connie looked around as Pearl got out a pan and filled it full of spring water, emptying their last jug. She'd have to go get some more. "Where's the rest of the gems?"

"Oh, Amethyst is out getting some junk out Vidalia's garage. Garnet? I don't know. As if she'd tell me where she disappears to."

"You should talk to her about that."

"I would, but the winter season has been busy. I was out shopping a lot last week. Amethyst made me pick up all the gift ideas she had jotted down." Pearl didn't get a response, so she stole a look over. The girl was playing with her fingers impatiently, looking at her phone knowing there'd be no new text on the screen. She exhaled emotion. "When was the last time you were by this early?"

"Oh, hmmm…." Connie put a finger on her chin. "A few years back, me and Steven'd go and jam together, me and you would train while Steven watched, but... we don't do that now. And it's fucking lame." Connie sighed, bags under her eyes, looking at the ceiling. "Sorry for swearing."

"There's no need to apologize, you're nearly eighteen." Pearl finished setting the burner and looked towards Connie. The girl's hands shook in her pockets and her eyes were half lidded. But the way those orbs in her head moved, Connie had a look Pearl had before. A look Pearl had for her Diamond. "You didn't get any sleep last night, did you?"

She sighed and buried her face in the soft couch. "No, ma'am."

Pearl drifted over and took a seat on the arm. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I think it'd be…" She looked at Pearl. "Kinda awkward."

"It's about Steven, isn't it?"

Connie's face was burning up and she couldn't bear to look Pearl in the eye. "Uh, yeah."

"I promise I won't embarrass you. There's no reason to hide. You know you're my little knight."

Connie face was a bit redder than before. "You're breaking your promise already."

Pearl covered a laugh with her hand. "Sorry, but please Connie, you can talk to me."

"Ok." She closed her mouth and then opened it again. "I like Steven." The words were fast so full of emotion for a meager word like 'like'.

Pearl's brow went funny, she looked gently at the young woman trying to put her love into the air before them.

"I mean **really** like Steven."

"How long?"

"Like t-two years now." Connie's eyes teared up and she almost closed them, grinding her teeth. "I thought at some point he'd return the feelings. If I just stayed around like I had always. Maybe he'd feel the same way. Like what was in my mind would get in his head magically somehow."

Pearl sat next to Connie. Taking the girl's head against her chest. "You've been holding it in so long. I know what it's like to love someone who doesn't look at you the same way." Pearl looked past her. She saw a pearl staring at her diamond with the largest love she might ever feel, but all she received was a look of understanding and affection, but never love.

"I, uh, came here today to tell h-him how I feel." She chuckled looking at the wooden ceiling. "Knowing me I would've just chickened out."

"You are braver than that and I know it."

"This is weird saying this to you." Connie chuckled. "You're like Steven's mom."

"I've known about your feelings, Connie. It's nothing new to me and I care for you as I care for him, I've seen a girl grow into a beautiful young woman and the last thing I'd want to see is you locking your feelings away. Like I've done. It's awful to have a desire for someone hidden, eating at you. To look at your love and see a bright future with them you're just so unsure of. I had always wondered if she looked at me the same way. You need to tell Steven soon."

"I will I promise." Connie checked her phone again. Pearl left the couch for a moment and took the water off the burner and funneling it into two cups, then taking two packets of cocoa mix and pouring one into each, then she swirled them with a spoon. She brought the cups over and placed them on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

"I have to tell you, I think Steven's might be interested in a girl at school."

Connie's stomach dropped. No way, she searched her mind quickly for the possible culprit. "Jenny Ainsley? I've seen him trying to talk to her during lunch."

"Steven didn't give me her name but he danced around the idea of having a crush. I think that's why he was in a rush this morning."

"It's probably her." Connie grimaced at the ceiling. "She's nice but…" Connie tried and couldn't think of a real reason Steven shouldn't pursue her. Jen got decent grades, was a little wild but not crazy like some other girls in their senior class. She was way cooler, prettier, and more fun than Connie could ever hope to be. Connie fell to silence. Her hands quivering.

"Maybe you should wait till you know what's going to happen between him and this 'Jen' before you tell him. No matter what though, you have to."

Connie nuzzled against Pearl slowly, speaking between tears. "It hurts."

She caressed Connie's head, Pearl's mouth settling into a frown. "It always hurts, but we'll keep on going."

Connie sniffled. "I really should get going before the storm gets bad. Thank you, Pearl. For so much. For being there." The girl gave the gem an embrace, and the gem gave it back. Sharing warmth before Connie had to withstand the weather.

"I'm glad to help."

"Can you text me if the uh 'situation' changes." She leaned down to tie her boots and grabbed her coat. "It's supposed to snow like a whole nother foot."

"Oh jeez." Steven was still out there. "Tell him to text me if you see Steven, please."

"I will." Connie took a final gulp of the cocoa. "See you again soon, Pearl."

And Connie was gone. Pearl looked at the rack and saw the red and white scarf still sitting there grinning at her. Pearl grabbed the cocoa Connie had only gingerly nursed and tipped into the sink. Pearl tapped Steven's name again in her contacts, watching Connie round the beach towards home. Ring, ring, ring. "Hey, it's Steven! Leave your message after the beep and I'll get back to ya."

"Please give me a callback, Steven. We're supposed to get more snow, and I need to know you're alright." She hit the red button and looked out the window at the sky, it was growing darker in the heavens, but a remaining light still teemed at its edges. Trying to survive the dark.

* * *

I don't think I've seen one completed story of the GregPearl pairing and I'd like to correct that. The story will be pretty long. I'm sitting on 10k that I just have to edit. The next chapter should be up in a few days.


	2. Sisyphus and Having Friends

The wind was getting louder on the temple's windows. The screens scraping the glass as harder gusts hit. Grocery bags came first through the door as wind helped throw it open wide for Pearl. Garnet sat on the couch nodding along to a song through Steven's earbuds, staring at Pearl as she went and set the paper grocery bags on the counter. "Hi, Pearl."

Pearl looked over, taking out a new carton of milk from the bag. "Oh, Garnet. Do you see if Steven will be back?"

"He'll be here in an hour."

Pearl exhaled and smiled. "Thank you, jeez I've been worrying all day." Pearl got out the rest of the cold stuff and put it away, including a hefty turkey, cold to the touch, Garnet was just snapping on the sofa along with her music. Pearl grabbed more from the bags, and when she was done she unraveled herself from her winter gear.

The grocery store was a frantic trip, everybody wanted to say hi, but all Pearl could do was worry. She sent some texts around to friends in the area and crossed off things on the list at the same time, and now as she unloaded all the things she bought she noticed she got loaves of the same bread, she put the second one in the freezer. When she left the store nervous she emerged into the storm and was calm.

She always liked it better when it was cold and even weathering the storm felt like a treat, like being lost in a little universe separate from Beach City. Letting go of Rose felt like that, being lost in a universe, but an awful one. Of course she still hurt, maybe always would, but Rose wasn't the same in her mind. It was awkward. Like having a conversation with someone who wouldn't look you in the eye, maybe couldn't.

Pearl was in a storm now that trying to blow her every which way, but she still had the day to perform. A young man to take care of and a great group of friends, they made it all worth it, even if it felt like they were took some steps backward. Even if it was hard to fight the winds and they'd leave her less graceful, she was sure she'd come out the other end.

She finished putting away the groceries before she even realized it and returned to herself, spacing off into the light wood grain of a cabinet, she blinked. "Is Amethyst back?"

"Yes, she's in her room."

Pearl went over to the couch and let herself fall back on it, exhaling. "I don't want to deal with her right now. She said she'd be back. Today's been exhausting."

"You know you need to work out your issues with us before you can feel better yourself. Get on better terms. Not create distance." She spoke as if some impartial adjudicator, still snapping along with what was in her ears.

"After the holidays. There's too much going on."

"You're right." Garnet stopped snapping. "In ten minutes you should begin baking those brownies for Steven."

"He won't eat them, I buy them but he doesn't eat them anymore."

"He will tonight." The mp3 player clicked, Garnet stopped nodding her head and threw a serious look at Pearl. The shared gaze lingered between the two, but Garnet's eyes still hidden behind her peach visor. She knew something Pearl didn't and it made her nervous. "I'll give you a hand."

"Will you tell me what it is? And thank you. I appreciate the help."

"Trust me, when I say it's better you hear it then rather than now."

Pearl didn't want to leave the couch. "Can I relax a minute? I've been rushing around all day."

"Absolutely." Something clicked and Garnet was nodding her head again with music Pearl couldn't hear. Pearl wanted to hear it but all she could hear was the howling and occasionally the scratch of metal screens against the glass, but that slowed down as she rested, the wind was becoming less severe. Pearl took a peek. Lights found their way through the clouds and to the window. The weather was supposed to be a good on the tail end of today into tomorrow.

Pearl stood up from the little couch and walked over to the cabinets, Garnet watched her as she went and then got up to help. They stripped the cabinets of their supplies and thirty minutes of whisking, stirring, and pouring passed before Amethyst emerged from her room with a yawn. "What time is it?"

Garnet responded flatly pouring the mix into a pan. "Five."

Amethyst rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. "Ah jeez. That late? Wait..." Amethyst looked around the living room, checking above at Steven's space, her eyes went wide. "Where's Steven?"

"Don't worry. He'll be back in twenty minutes."

Amethyst let the pressure out in an exhale."That's a relief. After I helped Vidalia with her stuff, I went looking for a few hours." She smiled at the thought of the trash she picked out of the Fishstew pizza's bin. Some gnarly, some tasty, some useful.

"Can't believe Steven has been giving us the run around like this."

Amethyst put a finger under her chin. "Yeah, it's not like Steman." She dropped her and looked nervously at Pearl as she slid the brownie mix into the waiting mouth of the oven. "Yo uh, P."

Pearl stood up straight and wiped her hands on a dishtowel. "Yes, Amethyst?"

"I offloaded extra junk from Vidalia's place that was TOO junky if you know what I mean?" Amethyst gave a half chuckle looking away from Pearl's tired eyes.

"And I think the can might have maybe rolled down the hill."

Garnet put a hand on Pearl's back before she slumped down. "I'll take over brownie duty."

"Thank you, Garnet." Pearl got on her gear for what she hoped was the last time today, and exited the temple with heavy shoulders. She glanced at the setting sun. Pink-orange on the horizon, rays traveling the frigid water top. All that she had carved into the snow had been undone by the passing storm. A new fresh blanket for her to break later. Pearl gulped.

She shook that thought away and walked down their stairs to the snow-covered beach and back up some stairs to the parking lot. Each flight to the cliff felt harder to pull herself up. Till she reached the final rise which went easy like the wind.

The street light above the parking lot's white covered asphalt was on for the coming night. Making the patch of snow stand out against the dim expanse beyond it. A glowing island alone in a sea of shadow. She looked at the barrel's place. The snow on the asphalt walk was thinnest there but there was no barre to be seen.

Beyond the barrel's place was a slope down, the closer half of the slope shimmering in the dim orange sunlight, but the bottom half was bathing in dark, cut off by snow-topped spruces that lined parts of their cliff. Even the trees were shivering in the winds.

Pearl began her way down the slope. In the light negotiating with the snow was easy yet slow going but when she was in the dark she could not see the decline, where the snow would meet her boots but she reached the bottom eventually. Her eyes adjusted to the dark and she could make out the big fuzzy shape of the bin in the black. She went behind it and looked up it at the slope. A good thirty feet to push it up to the top. She gave the bin a push with just her arms but Amethyst had filled it to the brim some time during the day, Pearl could hear circuit boards and the sound of metal junk clinking inside. Pearl took a breather and tried to put on a small smile. Her day was nearly over, you're getting through this.

Pearl pushed it with her arms onto the slope, turning around when it was too hard and using her back. It moved easier up the slope that way, when she needed a rest lodging her boot heels into the snow, makeshift holds. Her phone vibrated in her jacket pocket but she ignored it. She was staring into black most the time. She could only tell how far she was because she could see the line of sunset light out of the corner of her eye. Close to halfway. The bin was heavy on her back, and as she pushed upwards she only had to take more rests more often. Unzipping a few inches of her jacket to let the cold night in.

A throbbing heat cut through her back. The thing was weighing hard on her projection. The air was cold but the light of the setting sun made her sweat. She spoke to the coming night. "The day is almost over." When it hurt she just said it again. It became a mantra with each agonizing step, the only noise besides the wheels of the barrel and her feet crunching the icy snow underneath, with strained steps she smashed her obtuse rubber feet into the snow liked that'd give her relief and strength to keep going. Then sun was finally gone and she was stranded in the dark.

As she struggled her eyes caught something. Headlights cutting the darkness above her head, like a lighthouse beam. An engine died that she had never heard live, and a door clicked opened and clapped shut. Pearl pushed trying to ignore the arrival. She was almost there, she could do this.

A warm rasp calling overhead. "Hello?" Greg's called down, concerned.

"Just a moment, Mr. Universe." Pearl pushed harder and faster, like she needed to get it to the top before he saw her struggling in the dark.

He was walking down, fully outfitted for the weather. "Jeez, what is in that thing?" Pearl looked like she was killing herself to haul it up, breathing heavy, slipping on ice, sweat beading on her brow. "Let me help." She wanted to put up some resistance but the day was long and cold, so she scooched over and they both put their backs against the can and pushed up. It was awkward at first, their pushes out of sync, she almost felt like they were losing ground but then they found a rhythm together, steady and true.

Carrying the weight was easier, so much easier. They only took one rest before the crest of the hill. Greg gave a dorky smile over and sweat rolled down his brow, him wearing a smile as pink and orange light dance on his face. Pearl couldn't help but mirror his odd glee. They got it to the top a short minute later and breathed easy, almost in unison. "I couldn't imagine you doing this by yourself."

"Not the first time, and not the last. Amethyst is going to knock it down in another few days and I'll be left to haul it up again."

"You know, Pearl." Greg gave her a smile. "I could come to help around the temple sometime. You don't have to take care of the place all alone."

"I- well…" Pearl took off her hat to let her head cool. Sweaty hair sticking in the air as small peachy sweet spikes. "It has been getting easier to care of duties but," Steven was a young man, he took more responsibility. "I've been doing it for a long time. Maybe some extra help around the house would be appreciated." She said it with tiredness in her eyes, but also a small smile for him. "Me and Garnet made brownies if you'd like some."

"Are you kidding? I'd love some. I'm starving." Greg rubbed his hands together. "Wait, where's Steven?"

Footsteps hit the snow in the parking lot. They both looked Steven rounded Greg's van in his coat trying to cover his eyes with his arm. "Steven?" Greg turned around to his son.

"Oh no." Pearl put a hand over her mouth.

"I'm s-sorry." Steven looked at them a moment but turned and stomped and stumbled his way down the wooden steps.

Greg ran after his son slipping again and again down the stairs and steadying himself, Pearl only following behind him at a mid-pace, helping him to his feet each time. All three snaking their way through the snow towards the temple as the sun was slowly swallowed below the cold ocean.

Steven was holed up in the bathroom and crying and Amethyst was at the door listening, looking at the two who just burst through the front door. Amethyst stood up. "What in the heck happened?!"

Both Greg and Pearl were panting from the run. Pearl spoke quietly and went up to the bathroom door. "I think Steven might've confessed to somebody today." Greg made a pained face and joined her at the wall before the bathroom. Garnet calmly withdrew the brownies and set them on the counter.

Amethyst knocked at the door. There was no light underneath the threshold. "Hey, Stevaroni?" His chest heaved with the tears, he was sobbing in shadow. Amethyst rubbed at the back of her head and tried to look anywhere but the door. "You can talk to us, ya know that?" But Amethyst didn't really know the course she was heading.

And Steven didn't either, he was still weeping within. Pearl put a gentle hand on Amethyst's shoulder and the gem grumbled before getting up and leaning beside the door to make space for Pearl. Pearl began sweetly. "Steven?"

Only tears. Greg started. "Schtuball?" No response. Steven's pink jacket was over the couch, dripping wet sleeve almost touching the temple floor. Greg whispered putting his back against the frame. "Take as much time as you like."

"Ok, I guess I'll be back later. Text me if you y'all end up watching a movie or something. Peace." Amethyst awkwardly walked backwards into the warp pad and disappeared into the light.

"Sheesh." Pearl shook her head.

Garnet sat down on the couch and went cross-legged. Pearl relaxed against the wood grain of the door frame. Greg peeled off his boots and snow pants to get more comfortable. Underneath rough jean shorts that went down to just below his tan knees, underneath his jacket a black t-shirt with a golden star on it. Pearl took off Connie's scarf, imagined Greg wearing it for half a second and then draped the thing over a wooden arm of their coat rack. She sat back down next to the door and listened to Garnet softly drumming her hands.

Steven was still crying, but it had grown softer with time. Now only gentle swells of tears came. "Shtuball?"

"D-dad."

"Yeah?"

Steven pressed his head against the wood of the door. "I'm so fucking stupid." He hit himself in the chin. He felt like crumbling.

"Oh, don't say that."

Feet shuffled, the bathroom door opened and Steven fell out of the darkness. Greg rose and caught his son. "Ah jeez.." Greg supported Steven as they walked to the couch. Steven fell back onto it, Garnet made room around Steven to lay down, and he did. He sniffled and whimpered quietly, tears falling down the side of his face, shielding his eyes from the light with his forearm.

It pained Pearl to see Steven like this. "You wanna tell us about what happened?"

"Uh, not really." He chuckled through tears knowing he'd have to spill the beans.

Pearl sat on the arm of the couch at Steven's feet "Was it Jenny?"

Steven gulped and nodded. "How'd you know?"

"Connie came by in the morning to tell me you had a snow day and she gave me a hint on what you might be happening."

"Well, none of that fucking matters anymore." He dug into his eyes with his palms, wet eyes, red at the edges and leaking tears.

"Tell us what happened, Shtuball."

"I went out this morning. Went to school, pulled on the school's front door and realized it was a snow day, but I promised today would be the day. So I went to her house and knocked on the door, her dad answered at first, but me and Jenny talked, for I don't know how long, hours, way too long." He chuckled. "She's the gentle, m-most caring but she- but she-"

Garnet spoke. "She turned you down."

Steven nodded again, his head quivering in pain, upper jaw shaking without permission. "I'm so sorry." Greg held his head, rocking him back and forth, caressing his curls. Tear in the father's eyes. Pearl knelt beside the couch and had Steven's hand, rubbing her thumb against his palm, wet with tears. The storm was in his body, and it was passing slowly. At some point Garnet hit the lights and disappeared.

The only light in the room was from the oven's digital clock and the porch light. The only sound was Greg's stories. About highschool heartbreaks, about how he felt better, how time took care of him. Pearl spoke of Rose, of the Diamond who'd never look at Pearl how she did her. How she never spoke her love, and how she wondered if the looks she gave were ever enough. "You're brave, Steven, something I wasn't."

"I'm just stupid."

"For wanting to tell someone you care about that you care about them? Kiddo, Pearl's right. You're a lot of things but stupid isn't one of them."

"I don't know." Steven laughed. "I had so many dreams."

"And you will have more. Someone'll come into your life and be a light you may love." She brushed aside his dark tresses, with tears on the edge of her eyes, smiling. "You were my light after Rose." She thumbed away his tears. "But it all takes time."

"Can you two stay with me tonight? I don't wanna be alone."

"There's no other place we'd rather be, kiddo, believe us."

They sat awhile, Steven sometimes going back into intermittent sobs. Greg spoke up. "I know its a bit late, but do you want to watch that movie?"

"Uh, no, but earlier did I smell… brownies?"

Pearl chuckled. Garnet did her part. "Let me get you a napkin."

"Some milk?"

The final duty of the day, she'd only do for Steven. "Of course."

Steven sat up and hugged his knees to his chest. Occasionally taking nervous nibbles of brownie and dipping it in the small glass of milk. The three conversing in the lowlight. Greg went on casually about every single break up, an unrequited love, and all the pain following. Everything up till the day he met Rose at that show.

Pearl talked about all the times she had been tempted to confess Rose her love, and the moment she realized it was too late. A beautiful child was coming into the world. Steven finished his brownie, taking a final sip of his milk for the night, lying with his head in his father's lap, and soon a quiet settled between the three, the only sound was the tick of a clock obscured in shadow, a slow rhythm. Steven slowly nodding into darkness.

Both Pearl and Greg watched him for a while. Their heart's beating in their chest. Pearl realized something and turned away, but with a small smile. She glanced at the glowing green numbers on the oven's display. 1:15.

She looked at Greg and whispered. "You tired?"

"Nah." He looked down at his boy and ran his palm over his curls. "Can we talk?"

"Where?"

Greg nodded at the open bathroom door.

Pearl threw her eyes at it but went back to Steven, with a shaky look on her face. "Can we stay a minute longer?"

"Of course we can, Pearl." After much longer than a minute passed, Greg scooched from underneath his son and lowered his head onto a pillow.

The bathroom light was harsh. "Poor kid."

"I feared this all day." Pearl sat on the edge of the tub, with her palm propping her chin. "I saw him run out earlier with a card, he was in such a rush, I wasn't sure but I had a hunch."

"I thought it'd be Connie."

"Well, Connie cares for him. Deeply. This developed away from us."

Greg nodded, leaning against the sink.

Pearl's shoulders fell, she could feel the stress of her journey into the night on her projected shoulders. "Today's been so tough."

"I can't believe you were trying to haul that thing up all by yourself." He was looking down at the tiles of the bathroom. "I'm sorry." Greg looked at Pearl.

Pearl met his brown eyes. "Huh?"

"You've been taking care of my son for so long. I've not been doing all that I should be."

She heard the words and looked down at her foot she cradled in her hands. "Taking care of Steven wasn't too hard for a long time. I liked the journey, the effort of it all, all the things I've learned about him about myself, about caring for someone else besides Rose, jeez I even confused him for her at one point, but..." She put her hands into her eyes. Greg sat down next to her. "But I'm tired, I enjoyed it. But now I just try to tell myself I'm not in pain all the time, but I am. What would she think of me?" Her shoulders shook.

Greg hugged Pearl. She shuddered at the sudden warmth, but didn't shrink away from him, she relaxed into his arms. "Well, I for one think you're wonderful." They stayed like that, sharing warmth. He spoke with a coy tang, not really thinking of what he was saying. "I could move in, make breakfast some days."

She sniffled. "No, well, not yet, but a little help around the house wouldn't be bad." It had hurt Pearl to think of asking for help.

"Thank you for letting me help."

"I'm sure Steven and the other gems wouldn't complain about having you around here more."

"And you won't either?" He looked her in the eyes, her in his arms. She hadn't been held like this in years.

Pearl looked away with a warm blue blush on her ivory cheeks. "I won't mind." Greg let her out of his grasp and she rested for herself on the tub side.

She looked down into the vacant thing. Not a spot of dirt or remaining water from a shower. "I feel like it was only yesterday I was giving Steven baths in this tub. After you dropped him off he was nervous, splashing the alien trying to put him into the water or... maybe he just thought we were people back then, just people he didn't know. Forcing him to brush his teeth every night."

"I wish I had been there to help."

"I wish you were there too, but I know I wouldn't have had that."

He chuckled. "You hated my guts right?"

"Yes- No. What I hated was that she loved you... and when Steven was born I hated that you took her away, but I never hated who you were. As a human."

"Well, it's an honor to not be hated by Pearl."

Pearl rubbed the back of her neck and gave a half-chuckle. "It's getting late, aren't you a little tired?"

"Yeah, but I had an idea." Pearl looked at him. "When I was his age, well a little bit older, I was going through a rough time, and I didn't know what to do with myself, it was after that unrequited love, but it wasn't just that, it was a lot of stuff building up. Stuff with my father. I packed up my clothes, bought camping gear, and left college. I went walking for four months. I learned a lot about myself and my thoughts at that time, my place in the universe. Wrote my first few songs. Found someone who would manage me, and then that's that. So what if just we three went hiking somewhere upstate? I don't expect the kid to have a big revelation and become a traveling musician, but some time to process what's happened can't be a bad thing, and we can all spend some time together."

"That sounds great, but it's December, Greg, and the holidays are a few days away."

"So there are 4 days till Christmas right? We'd only go for two or three days. I can get us packed up tomorrow, then we can head out the next morning, I got some extra sleeping bags and even a tent or two squirreled away at the barn." He calculated even more up in his head.

Pearl smiled, she could see his son in him, the driven look life-loving look in his eyes. Greg's love was more subtle at times, still joyous, but tempered by reality. "We don't have to of course, if you'd rather just have a few days off to rest. I can take care of the temple."

Pearl sighed and her face fell. "The last thing I want to do is lay down and I don't want to look at this house right now."

"So are we doing it?"

Pearl smiled again softly but thought before answering. Thinking about how Garnet and Amethyst would have to prepare the festivities for the holidays, how they could manage. About finally clearing her head after months of just taking care of the house and hauling the bin up the hill.

"We're doing it."

* * *

New chapters every three days, space cowboy.


	3. The Journey

The sun was still gone and Pearl rested on the backless chair before Steven, cradling his old pink backpack in her arms, softly singing a song without words. The blankets outside had been swept by night winds. Imperfections made and others laid bare. Where the snow thinned to dead grass and mud. Though these details were mostly incomprehensible in low light, and when Pearl tried to focus on things but it was static. Fuzzy noise, like when she closed her eyes. She looked in the bag.

Three pairs of pants and three shirts inside, deodorant and other amenities. All that Steven'd really need. A rubber tub lay beside the seat full of colorful thick pants and gloves. They'd get the stuff on before they even began walking and it wouldn't take space in their packs.

A buzz in her pocket. She checked it and saw a picture of an old tent leaning against the wall of the van. Greg had been sending her texts through the night. One every ten or twenty minutes, she'd remind him what they might need, the drip feed was dying off as weariness must have been settling in. She smiled he didn't even have to send them, but something about the feed made her comfortable.

She realized something while tiptoeing around the temple in the dark. They hadn't asked the young man snoring on the couch behind her if he had wanted to go. He had just been through something awful, she could see Steven wanting to clear his mind and maybe struggling through the cold wouldn't sound appealing, and she'd accept that, and… probably still want to go with Greg, but that was a selfish want. Time passed, but her thoughts stayed on the logistics of the trip.

Steven stirred in the dark. "How early is it?"

"6. You should go back to sleep."

Steven thought about the night before. It felt like a dream, but the cushions of the couch told him it hadn't been and the gentle, somber look he made out on Pearl's face did too. She was sorry for something she shouldn't be sorry for. "Thank you for helping me last night." Steven scooted to the edge of the couch and hung his legs groggily over.

"Always, Steven."

"Is there something wrong with my old backpack?" He looked at it in her arms.

She blushed. "No, I filled it with some changes of clothes for you."

"Huh? Why?"

"Me and Greg were up late talking, and we were wondering if you'd want to go hiking. We'd go somewhere upstate. We thought maybe you'd get some time to think."

"When would we go?" Steven rubbed his knees

"Tomorrow morning, we'd back right before Christmas."

"Do I need to pack?"

"I think me and Greg have that covered, your dad has been up all night."

"Can I say no?"

"Of course you can, Steven."

Steven sighed rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, and let a long pause linger in the room. "Can we get a pizza on the way back?"

"I'm sure we could."

"Maybe hiking will be fun."

"I've enjoyed it before, but it can be a bit tough."

"What's the weather gonna be like?"

"Let me see…" Pearl checked on her phone. "Clear mostly."

"If it's just us three... then alright."

"We'll try and make it fun. We could pack some of those board games you like."

Steven smiled "Maybe…" He got up and plucked his ukelele off the upper platform he slept on. "Or we could play some music." He swept the strings a few times, beginning something. He started to think about words to go with the chords.

"Oh, we thought it was so simple."

"That life was so pristine."

"Now we know it can't always be a dream." Steven faltered on the ukulele, his mind flashed with images of that girl, and he put a hand over his face like he was bleeding from his head. "How about we go help my dad pack?"

"You still have one more day of school before break."

He removed his hand. "Do I have to go?"

"C'mon, one more day and we're free for a month."

Steven grumbled like he did when he was younger when he didn't get his way. "Alright." He grimaced a moment. "But she's going to be there."

"And you're going to survive."

Steven breathed out. "I will."

"If you really feel you need to come home. Don't be afraid to give me a call."

"Ok."

"How about we get you breakfast." The morning routine was breezy. Steven actually ate breakfast today and after Amethyst helped Pearl shovel which she complained at first about but didn't fight. Garnet was around and shared a cup of cocoa with Amethyst after they shoveled. Steven had his new backpack on, and stood in the threshold looking back at Pearl. "Can we watch that movie later?"

"Yes, I think so."

Pearl sat on the couch after he left. Thinking of what to do with her day. She had already picked up groceries, done Steven's laundry, and saw that the garbage bin had been put in the right place to be emptied. Without these things what was her day. She sighed. A buzz. A picture of an old snow shovel. "We have better ones here at the temple."

"Ok good."

Greg sent packing photos till about 1, each on keeping her mind occupied until he finally sent a simple "Done."

"Tired now?"

"Yeah haha but I'm going to try not to sleep till tonight."

"Up for a movie later?"

"I'll just pass out."

"Come anyway."

The three dots danced for a while. "Ok."

The gem dug deep for things to do for the day, settling on visiting friends around town, helping keep Greg awake for an hour, but she returned to the temple before the sun fell. Steven was back and napping. Pearl whispered to the other crystal gems the three's plans for the coming days. Garnet was encouraging, Amethyst was happy she wouldn't have to go out in the cold with them, but sad her Steman wouldn't get to party with her his first few nights of winter break.

Pearl woke Steven, and after a tired Greg arrived, Amethyst got out the soda Pearl bought the day before, and Garnet popped the popcorn. And they all sat on the couch and watched the movie together. Garnet sat next to Steven with her feet kicked up and on the other side of the teen a bleary eyed Greg fought to stay awake next to him Pearl sinking into the couch some herself. Amethyst sat below on the carpet with all the snacks that were meant for the group.

Garnet soundlessly laughing to herself at jokes before they were even on screen, and the reactions Steven and Amethyst would have to the movie. Pearl couldn't summon the spirit to pay attention to it but loved being there with the rest. Greg ruffled his son's head and tried to glue his eyes to screen to keep from sleep. Amethyst chugged the soda and cheered with Steven when action picked up.

The movie became tender towards the end. People were falling apart, some falling in place, but all changing. It was something Steven picked out, but it didn't have the goofy flare most of what he wanted to watch before. It really wasn't a kid's movie, and Steven wasn't a kid anymore.

In a year he'd be going to college. That hit Pearl while she was watching the movie. He'd be out of the temple, and how much more empty would she feel? Nothing to do with her day, chores hurt but they killed time she didn't know how to spend otherwise. Where was her Steven going? Pearl's eyes were glassy as she watched the colors move on the screen. Going from one to the other.

Greg caught her holding back her tears. He thought maybe it what was happening on screen. Amethyst was also sniffling, but something was different about Pearl's eyes. Greg reached for her hand and took it without thinking, her form was cool to the touch but not cold. Pearl felt the warmth of his hand and it broke her thoughts. She looked him in the eye, like searching for his emotion. This loving look in his eye, told her that Greg cared, even if he didn't understand what was happening in her mind.

And she knew she was here now, with her family, together on this couch. There were people who wanted to be there even if they had their quibbles, even if time marched on and might break them apart. They were here now. Greg ran his thumb gently over the top of her pale hand. "You alright?"

"No, but…" She smiled at him and looked over at everyone, his eyes followed. "I'm happy we're here. You're here." Greg returned her expression. The movie was almost over and Greg left his hand with Pearl, and without thinking, she nuzzled into his side. Greg got nervous and made sure the rest of them hadn't seen. He felt guilty on the couch.

The screen went black and names rolled down the screen. "Oh, jeez that was good." Amethyst rubbed stray tears out of her eyes.

"Not bad." Garnet put her hand under her chin.

Steven was still holding onto some tears but a smile prevailed. "Glad we watched that."

"Glad you liked it, kiddo."

"What'd you think of it Pearl?"

"Well, the sword fights looked good."

Amethyst looked at Pearl intensely like she had just transgressed the art of filmmaking. "But what about **the drama**?"

Pearl scratched the back of her head and gave a grin. "I'm sorry I wasn't really paying attention."

Steven wiped the tears away. "It's alright. We enjoyed the movie, Amethyst."

Pearl faked a yawn hoping to spread it to Steven. "What time is it?"

Amethyst looked at her phone. "10."

Garnet stood up. "I think a certain trio needs some rest before the journey tomorrow."

"I'm gonna pass out." Greg had his eyes closed. He felt like he needed to talk to Pearl about something but he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore.

"I'm tired too." Steven stood and looked up at his roll.

Greg rubbed the soft couch cushions. "Mind if I crash the night? We can head out in the morning, I got the van with everything in it in the parking lot."

Amethyst laughed. "No one's going to complain."

"I won't." Garnet gave Steven's head a pat and strolled over to the light pad, spoke without turning around. "I got **business** to take care of."

Pearl quirked her brow at Garnet but turned to Greg who was desperate to be horizontal. "Help me make some breakfast tomorrow. So get some rest."

"Sure." He finally had confirmation he could sleep and he yawned, put his feet up and went onto his side. "Hmm… we'll cook bacon." Greg grumbled with his eyes closed. "That'll be goodddd…."

Steven looked at his roll once more and then to Pearl. "I think I'll be following in my father's footsteps."

"But you'll be brushing your teeth before you do."

Steven laughed, she remembered to make him. He turned and lumbered into the bathroom.

The water went on in the bathroom and Pearl scanned the mess in the living room in front of Greg's sleeping form. Eyes finding his long brown mane falling over his shoulder illuminated by the brightness of the bathroom light, she shook her head and went back to her task. One of 2-liters was empty on the coffee table, another half-full underneath the coffee table. She knelt and plucked them up and was lucky enough to see that both their caps were still on. Putting the empty in the recycling bin, the half-full in the fridge. She went back and checked for the popcorn bags but there were none. Amethyst had eaten them, hadn't she?

The water from the bathroom faucet came to a stop, with a low squeak. Pearl turned, Steven put his toothbrush back in the holder. He was still in his jeans and wasn't going to bother to get on pajamas. Not anymore. Pain from the couch welled up.

Steven stepped out from the harsh light of the bathroom and into shadowy obscurity of the temple's main room. "Night, Pearl." He flicked a switch and it was all darkness in the temple and outside. Steven settled into sleep quietly, after a hug from Pearl.

And Pearl made one last check as best as she could in the black. One thing was off and it took her a minute or two to realize. She stood near the couch and looked at the man laying on it. He hadn't bothered for a blanket. She took the one draped over the end of the couch and gently set on him. Settling on the backless seat in front of him. Watching him as he softly snored. His gentle sleeping face. Not as fun as his waking one but serene.

The van glided down the Delmarva highway in the early morning. Pearl was sitting in the passenger's side watching as snow-laden trees beside the road flew past her window. Hugging her legs to her chest. Bumps on the ride made gear in the back make little jumps. Steven was In the back of the van sitting against the metal wall with some blankets, asleep.

A song played softly from the radio and Greg rolled his head gently from side to side with it. They'd been on the road for a little over five hours. The journey began with them sharing lively conversations until Greg was the one who spoke mostly till now silence. Besides the car humming over the road. The traffic mirrored their conversation from busy slowly falling to nothing the further they went into the nowhere of Delmarva. The unrestrained sun sending beams streamed through the windshield.

Snow-capped tops of mountains rose on each side of the road as they drove. Looming over the van, at times it felt like were driving into the great black and white masses. Pearl hadn't seen the sights in a long while and enjoying the view, she was quiet with a small amused smile. She thought of something. "Humans spend so much of their time journeying places, and their lives are so limited."

"Yeah, that's true but well... how else would you get anywhere?" Greg chuckled.

"I guess you do have to spend time no matter what." Pearl relaxed back in her seat. A human's timer was always ticking down, it made her panic a moment but she settled in her mind. "I'm happy to be spending it with you and Steven." She placed her hand on his shoulder.

He reached with one arm and put his hand over hers. "I feel the same way…" Greg glanced in the rearview. "But I think it might be just us right now."

"What's the place we're gonna be hiking?"

"Oh, it's a national park. They have a few cabins along the trails to stay in. I talked to a ranger, told him we'd be out there today and tomorrow. Honestly, I've never been to the place, but I read like a dozen reviews saying how beautiful it was in the winter. Weather still looks alright while we'll be doing most of our hiking, but the morning we want to head back it's looking sketchy."

Pearl looked nervously at Greg. "Hey, don't worry. We have enough supplies for a day or two extra if we need it. No need to be spooked." Greg gave her a warm smile. "I got some experience in the snow."

"I had to crawl through plenty of it during the war. That was miserable."

"Sounds it. You know Rose never talked about the war."

"Yeah, she didn't. I wished she would've."

Greg looked over at Pearl, but she was lost in the road ahead. The dark tar. "You know you can talk about that stuff with others, Pearl?"

"Maybe later." She smiled. "I'm alright."

"Ok." Greg saw a sign for their turn off. "How about we wake shtuball up."

Pearl sat sideways in the seat, looking back at a sleeping Steven. "Honey?"

Steven's eyes fluttered to something like wakefulness. "Are we there?"

"Almost." Greg looked in the mirror at a stirring Steven. "Shouldn't be more than ten minutes, kiddo."

"Ok." Steven rubbed his sore neck, the position had been unkind to him.

Zip, zip, zip. In the parking lot, they stood around looking at each other, wearing all their snow gear. Dark blue heavy synthetic pants on Pearl, same but black ones on Steven, and grey on Greg. It was 3 P.M and the sky was already a deep blue. "We need to get a move on. It'll be dark soon." Greg picked up his pack, and Steven helped get it strapped on. Pearl threaded her own arms through her pack's straps. Greg and Pearl both finished up Steven's pack. They were long pill-shaped bags that synched up and had hoods over their tops that buckled. They were heavy and old. "How long is the walk to camp?"

Greg wiggled from side to side getting used to the new weight on his back. "Maybe three, four hours. It'll be tough but we'll get an earlier tomorrow, should be a more leisurely time."

"You always hope." Pearl pulled up her hood. "Does the pack feel alright on your back, Steven?"

Steven's pack went above his head, but he was solid on his feet. Their snow shovel was tied to it. "Yeah, I think it's fine."

Greg held his son's shoulders. "Kiddo, if it ever feels bad make sure to let us know, it's better to get things adjusted before anyone takes a tumble." Steven was trying to avoid Greg's eyes. He was already cold, and all he had to think about was her. "Hey, we'll be there before you know it. I got some surprises for you in one of the packs." He wanted those words to work, and a younger Steven would've perked up at a surprise, but this young man in front of him remained wounded.

Pearl watched with melancholy as Greg tried to assure his son. The darkened sky above was making no efforts to help nor the lamps above the asphalt of the parking lot. The bronzy sodium vapor bulbs dyeing their preparations the same color, an unnatural bronze. Steven remembered once sitting in the passenger's seat of the van, watching his father disappear into a store for a drink or something. That day under the light of that bulb he believed he'd never reemerged, and Steven couldn't say why.

Pearl looked at the inky horizon, there was light lingering at its bottom, the whole view unobscured over gentle sloping fields of snow. The tops glassy and reflecting orange, the light of the dying sun. The tops broken by feet and snowmobiles that came before them, shattered cold plates making even smaller slopes. Steven didn't even realize when they started walking but they had. His heavy boots cracking more and more tops, plunging below the ice sheets. It was cold underneath. Steven could feel the weight on his back already, not pain but it pressed on his shoulders.

Pearl was the head of the hike. She made confident steps and seemed hardly bothered by the pack on her back. Greg behind her, his steps were sure but sometimes his toe would slip on the glassy sheet, and he'd make a worried noise. Pearl would look back and make sure he was alright, maybe turning around and making sure the pack was adjusted right after he told her it was fine. Steven never slipped but it hurt. The sun was getting near gone, and Steven took every moment he could to watch it be swallowed by the ice.

Steven couldn't rid himself of her face. The two hazel eyes nestled below her blonde brow, the cute jeez oh gosh smile beneath her nose. He dreamed of fighting beside her, but that was a strange dream. He also imagined that she'd never want to fight hundreds of miles away in space. Realistically he imagined her caring for a dog and having to their masters they only had so many days left in this world. The cold seeped into the boots and past his socks into his feet.

Greg looked back at his son, the kid was caught on the dying horizon, wearing a hollow expression. Where were the words to fix someone's heart? He looked ahead at Pearl. She was putting her boots in the snow easily, and when she glanced back her face wasn't hollow just tired. Greg was going over what he could say to her when they talked. Whether or not what could happen would be healthy. He gulped, his face was warm despite the new night winds touching his face.

Pearl marched, asking for directions every once in a while. The trail was unclear in the snow but Greg had his phone which had a map of the park. Eventually, Pearl just took it from him and guided the three. Her thoughts were gathering and then falling apart with every time she had to put effort in. Something about love collating around Steven and Greg, frustration and Amethyst and Garnet. She knew something had to be shared with Steven's father, maybe words.

The night wind was gentle, still cold when it hit them in the face. Pearl looked at the glowing screen, it had been only an hour and she could see a full moon in the sky. The phone's battery was also half dead. She surveyed the gently sloped sheets all pointed to the river that cut through the center of the horizon in front of them, trees rising out of the snow there. It was frustrating taking off her gloves to flick the little screen, and Greg had the text double the size it would normally be on her phone. Flicking forward and following the river she saw that the campsite hugged the waterway. She passed it back. "Turn it off, Greg, I can get us there."

His voice was muffled by the thick collar of his red and black winter coat and carried by the wind. "Oh, ok." He held down a button and the screen went black before he zipped it away in his jacket pocket.

The gentle slopes gave little resistance, but Pearl heard Steven misstep once or twice. Greg asked if he was alright and of course he said he was. They were nearing the length of icey spruces that made up a forest and a wall that only broke where the river breached. Top thicker than the sheets they plunged their boots through, a pure glassy with blackness underneath. A pair of cracks. Pearl looked back where the sound came from.

Steven fell onto his knees. His two black caps cracked through the sheet but he hadn't leaned forward onto his hands, trying to keep his back straight. "Shtuball?" Greg looked at him, any reaction tempered by experience hiking, he wasn't afraid, he knew Steven could do it. Steven was breathing heavy, puffs of breath in the air. A drop of sweat rolled down his forehead.

"You alright?"

"It's just a bit heavy." All his hot breath going into his face as it hit and bounced back off his collar making him sweat. It felt odd to be worrying about the heat in the dead of winter.

Greg took his son's hand and helped him get on his feet. "We can stop for a break in a while. That sound like a plan?" Steven nodded, still breathing pretty heavy.

Pearl noticed the group's shovel strapped to his pack, Pearl fiddled with a knot securing it. "I'll take that." The shovel fell and its handled broke into the snow. She hoisted it up and Greg helped secure it to her pack. The extra shovel was a hardly noticeable extra weight for her.

Pearl pointed at his pack. "Take a drink."

Steven blindly gripped behind him, finding a plastic bottle, and brought it around front to drink from. Each cold mouthful a new shock to he could feel through his whole body, but it felt almost... good, so he rose to put away the water. "Let's just keep moving."

"Alrighty."

They met the break in the dark and white wall where water would flow freely this spring. The slight winds rustled ice on the boughs and spruce branches drooped above their heads, some with hanging icicles.

Greg let his eyes wander the wood. Looking for hints of movement, a slight disturbance of a branch, some creatures to see. Pearl studied the frigid top of the river, her eyes finding a twig frozen in the milky black, draped in white frost and pointing to the sky. Steven glues his eyes to his feet as he pressed them in front of him. A few feet at a time pushing forward, he didn't really think about much, especially not the landscape. Were they staying in a cabin tonight or was that tomorrow? He hoped it was tonight and laughed nervously.

Greg rolled his shoulders a moment, shaking his gloved hands. "What is it, shtuball?"

At this cold moment, he'd rather be ignorant to possible bad news than know if it's good. "Nothing."

Pearl looked at her own phone, no signal on it but she still had the time. "If you were right Greg, two hours and we should be there. Steven, you will be wanting to get the wood out of your pack when we get there." That'd be efficient.

Greg cooed. "Ooohh, warmth, I could go for that." He thought about the words that just left his mouth and chuckled off the corniness.

Pearl's face quirked to a strange smile for a moment but went back a neutral line. Steven adjusted his shoulders pads. "This bag is so annoying and heavy."

"Yeah, it is annoying... but you get used to it after a while…" She thought of all the suffering she had walking forward before. "It'll be lighter traveling tomorrow after you two eat dinner, breakfast and burn up wood."

Greg thought out aloud. "Oh, what are we gonna eat?"

"Dad... we don't actually know what you packed."

Greg rubbed his temple, he was still a bit tired from forcing himself to stay awake yesterday. "Oh, yeah right, I packed some bread, beans, rice, extra spices. I got some ham and cheese we should eat tonight before it gets a shot at spoiling."

"I wish I could just eat some right now."

Pearl chimed. "If you're really hungry, Steven, let me know. I brought some little snack bars I thought you'd like."

"I think my stomach is angry with me." Pearl dug for a bar in a jacket pocket and passed it back to Greg who passed it back to Steven. Steven tore the package and chunked into the peanut butter energy bar viciously and had to chew the thing apart for a few minutes.

As they walked along the river it became more narrow and so did the flat snowy side they walked on, and soon they'd have to walk on top of the river or find some path beyond the spruces. The trees weren't thick and with a glance, Greg noticed a few paths with little signs on wooden posts. "Huh..." There were three.

Pearl took out Greg's phone from his pocket. A path was just next to them which traced the riverside but behind the tree line. "Just up here." Pearl pushed aside some branches as she walked towards the path. They followed Pearl and the following became mindless. The path was smoothed by snowmobiles. Slippery in parts but that was rare, but now it was dark under trees blocking the moon, and eventually the three stopped almost in unison at a sound. Bushes that had turned a dead drab yellow during the winter rustled. "Shhhh…"

A doe hopped to a stop and turned her head to the three staring through trees. Big flat black ears above her slender tan head and downward-pointing muzzle. All were frozen watching. Pearl studied it till the doe hopped away. Greg commented. "That was neat."

Pearl watched as its deft hops and threading through frozen bushes made barely a shake or crack. "They are a graceful animal."

"I got a picture." Steven looked down at his phone and sighed preemptively like he knew the result before he even looked at it. "But the darkness ruined it. That's lame"

"I'm sure we'll see a whole pack tomorrow. They rule upstate."

Steven rolled his aching shoulders, arched his back for the brief feeling of the weight being lifted from his back. "How long now?"

"Eh, probably an hour."

"Let's just go." Steven began walking before the rest collected themselves. He was fighting the pain stabbing his shoulders with every violent step he forced forward.

Greg followed after. "Hey, wait up, kiddo."

The trail merged back with the river eventually and they had space to walk on the side. Snowmobiles hadn't touched this stretch, Steven saw it first and laughed. Greg leaned from behind him and saw it, and cheered, Pearl saw it and exhaled. A flat-roofed wood cabin nestled beside the river on a flat plain.

The walk to the entrance felt like nothing compared to the rest of the hike. And as they peeled off the backpacks it hardly felt like it had happened at all. As far as Steven knew, he saw the cabin and then he was inside peeling the backpack off his burning shoulders and falling onto his frozen ass. He only heard his breathing, and his eyes were yanked shut. Focusing on the dancing colors and darkness behind them. They were words being spoken but Steven was lost to them.

Pearl sighed walked around the unresponsive Steven and unbuckled the cap on his pack and uncinched its mouth, shimmying out a thick paper sack of firewood. "We need to get a fire going."

Greg nodded at her. "Yeah. Give me a minute." He sat down and rubbed his knees, letting the backpack fall off his shoulders. "I just need to..." Greg grabbed for the strings of his boot and undid the knot, peeling it off. Revealing a bulky grey wool sock underneath He did the same thing to the other. "There." Greg got up and walked over to the stove. The dark thing with a pipe snaking up around a wooden support and worming into the ceiling.

Steven emerged from his trance and found Greg and Pearl readying a fire. Pearl pressed in some wood and Greg peppered the top of the little logs with torn-up scraps of this morning's newspaper.

Greg had a flashlight in his mouth illuminating the woodstove. It was a cruel bluish beam that was the only light in the room. Steven watched as Pearl flicked a match off the side a box Greg was holding, then looked at something their blue beam was touching.

A rough wooden frame for mattresses the three didn't have. Pearl glanced at the frame too. "You can take a nap if you'd like. We should have this."

Steven nodded mindlessly and turned around to his pack digging around and sneaking out his sleeping bag. He hugged the outer layer like an old friend, turned it upside down and slacked the drawstring to release the actual sleep sack, then undid the one that kept the mouth of the actual bag shut. Steven realized after undoing the third drawstring in under two minutes that he had undone three drawstrings in the past two minutes, and that just made him even more exhausted than he was. Steven climbed and nestled into the bag and let the silence settle into his head.

* * *

Big chapter, maybe too big, probably needs some more edits. Four or five days til the next chapter.


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